Desperation
by SouthernCharmer
Summary: Jacob never went to Bella's wedding, he was never around for the birth of the strong willed and hot tempered Renesmee. What happens when they both run away and meet in the freezing woods of Canada? Will Nessie's sharp tounge and quick temper get her in trouble? Will Jacob accept the fact that he imprinted on the 'love of his life' 's daughter? Tune in to see how it goes!
1. I'll Be Your Runaway

**New story! Let me know what you think... its a totally different angel than what I usually write but I thought ti would be fun. Hope you enjoy!**_  
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_I linger in the doorway_  
_Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name_  
_Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me_  
_Where the raindrops as they`re falling tell a story_

_In my field of paper flowers_  
_And candy clouds of lullaby_  
_ (Paper flowers)_  
_I lie inside myself for hours_  
_And watch my purple sky fly over me_  
_ (Paper flowers)_

_Don`t say I`m out of touch_  
_With this rampant chaos, your reality_  
_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge_  
_The nightmare I built my own world to escape_

_~Imaginary by Evanescence_

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_Yes, I bleed red. No, I don't want to drink you blood. Yes, I have a heart… and no I don't give a shit about your feelings right now!_ I sat in the open field angrily plucking at a flower as I sighed twirling it around in my finger, hearing a sound I looked up my golden eyes landing on a herd of freakishly large looking wolves. They stood there watching me watch them, making no move to cross the quick flowing stream I smirked before my hand moved to crush the small unsuspecting flower before I tossed myself backwards onto the soft grass underneath me. Making myself comfortable as I looked up at the darkening gray sky. It looked like it would rain any second, but that was alright with me. I was always cold, I had no heartbeat, I could care less if it flooded… Hearing something sounding like a growl I turned my head my eyes locking on the dark black wolf I smirked knowing he was the Alpha.

"Easy Pup. I am doing nothing wrong." I finally spoke my voice sounding musical as I had a stare down with the Alpha mutt. The corners of my lips tugging up into a smirk as I saw him bristle at the term I used. Oh well, ask me if I care. I sighed rolling onto my stomach my chin resting on my chin as I carelessly picked a flower my feet starting to move up and down in a bored motion as I laid on the cool grass tearing into the flowers.

I knew I wasn't alone, the wolves had made it a point to sit down on the other side of the border and watch me causing a soft chuckle to escape my lips. What? I found this humorous. My gaze wondered back over to the 'pack' I moved to give them my full attention as I watched them.

"You know, it's not polite to stare." I purred causing one of the smaller wolves, the female to grunt before sneering in my direction.

"Easy mutt, I never have liked dogs much." I said gracefully moving to stand on my feet, so much for polite formalities? I brushed myself off looking back to the dogs.

"Have fun sniffing out those leeches ya hear?" I called out teasing them. Yea so I could be a bitch, screw it. I was tired of living my life for everyone else. I hated this damned town. I hated the people occupying it and mostly I hated my mother and father. They could literally squeeze the life out of a damned door mat! I had no freedom, no life, but mostly I had zero happiness. Why would I? My life sucked. I was hardly allowed out of the house, let alone allowed to have a life.

I heard the pack growl, I turned around my eyes flashing as I glared them down. The wolf I insulted made a move closer to the border I got down into my fighting stance a sinister smirk playing over my lips as my eyes locked on hers.

"Come on mutt, make my fucking day. I beg you." I said lowly wishing and praying she'd take me up on my offer but she was tackled to the ground by another silver wolf, this one darker than she. I huffed moving to stand up.

"Fine, have it your way." I said once again turning on my heel. I knew of the treaty my grandfather and grandmother made with the Quileute's I would never hard a human, I didn't have it in me. I never craved blood, I found the red liquid repulsing. I did feed on deer or the occasional bear to keep my strength up and just to fight. Although when I went bear hunting I had to sneak off and do it. The one time Edward saw me going hand to paw with a bear he had flipped his shit. I chuckled at the memory before said person along with my ever loving mother, appeared in front of me. I smiled at them giving them a mock bow as Bella tensed. I hated that I hated my parents but I did. They had smothered me too much, I couldn't stand this any longer. She looked at me hurt as I tried to side step them.

"Nessie, what the hell are you doing?"

I growled at my nick name. Yea I hated that too. "It's Renesmee, _father_." I said pushing past him, I felt his hand snake out to lock around mine with a little too much force than I found comfortable, I shook out of his grip.

"_Nessie_" he said emphasing my nick name, damn him. I growled as he took a step toward me. _Watch it father dearest, we know my temper resembles the wolves… I would hate to kcik your old ass. _I thought smirking as he looked at me, he hated that he could never read my thoughts, I was immune to his powers, my mother's powers, Auntie Alice and Uncle Jas' as well. Auntie Alice and Uncle Jas were my favorites, they would actually take me bear hunting, let me be my own person with them I felt like I could let the real me come out. I felt the wolves gaze on us as they watched the show. My shoulders went back, my eyes staring up into my father's golden orbs.

"You will not speak to me this way." I bit my tongue trying to refrain from laughing.

"You do not own me father dearest."

"Nessie, please…" I heard my mother's soft voice from beside me, I turned to look at her.

"No mother, I will not let you or father control my life any longer. I'm done. I'm leaving. Gone, bye. Adios!" I said throwing it over my shoulder as I jumped up into the trees finally deciding to make my get away. I heard my mother's startled gasp, for a minute I almost felt sorry for what I was doing, then I thought of how they treated me and that thought was gone. Screw them. I was going to live my own life. I was ready for this. I'm leaving Forks Washington and I am not coming back!

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It had been five long months since I left Forks, five long lonely months. I admit it. I miss my family but I am too stubborn to do anything more than let Alice communicate telepathically with me. Being a hybrid seemed to have some advantages, I had many 'gift's one was telepathic communication. I smiled settling back into the large oak tree was I occupying. I wasn't sure really where I was, I figured by the cold freezing temperatures I must be in Canda, seeing as how I didn't cross any ocean that would land me in Alaska. I sighed stretching back against the hard wood as I closed my eyes. Yes it was stupid but I liked to pretend to sleep every now and then, it was nice just to close my eyes and pretend to be in a peaceful, restful sleep. My opened snapped open as I caught the scent of a werewolf, I crinkled my nose at the smell placing a finger over the bridge of my nose. Man, that odor was horrible! Horrible I tell you! Deciding not to stay here any longer I hopped out of the tree landing gracefully on the ground, straightening up my eyes locked with a pair of dark golden yellow eyes of the russet wolf. He stood there stunned for a moment, I seemed to feel his pain. I was at a lose of words, I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing. I stood nose to muzzle with the strong beast, who looked as shocked as I felt. Taking one last gaze into my eyes the wolf took a step back sending a growl in my direction. Now don't go taking his way of backing up as fear, oh no. This wolf in front of me had no fear, instead he hunkered down taking the universal fighting stance. I sighed before blowing a strand of my atrocious red hair out of my eyes.

"Easy Scruffy. I have no intentions of hurting you or any humans near by. I am simply passing through." I said rolling ym eyes as he growled at me. Instead of replying I turned to walk away from the dog, I walked slowly through the dense woods knowing the wolf was right behind me. I didn't look over my shoulder though, just continued to walk looking for blood, as much as I hated to admit it my strength was getting low. I stopped suddenly listening for the sounds of any of the forest inhabitants before sighing. It was cold, hardly anything was going to be out and about for me to snack on. I felt the quizzical look of the wolf who stood close behind me. Not saying anything I took a right walking for another 10 minutes I smirked hearing something moving in the forest I slowly made my way toward the sound, the wolf seemed to finally figure out what I was about to do. He just stood there watching me with a hard edge on his face. I peered through the thick forestry and smiled as my eyes landed on a buck. I sighed a little disappointed it wasn't a bear, I looked at the wolf.

"I'm going to hunt now. If you don't mind I would like to eat in peace." The wolf let out an unphased humf, I once again rolled my eyes. Damned wolves and their fucking nosiness… ontop of their annoying attractive eyes… wait? What the hell did I just say? I shook myself coming back to reality as I sprung on the unsuspecting buck taking him down easily I was quick to break his neck making sure he didn't have to suffer.

"I'm sorry little guy…" I spoke softly before I heard a little rustling of the bushes knowing the wolf was still there I rolled my eyes knowing he had heard my little exchange with the now dead deer. With out a second thought I gently let my teeth pierce the deer's neck my eyes locked on the golden orbes of the wolf's.

For some odd reason I felt myself drawn to this wolf, I felt an unknown connection with him… I felt… I finished pushing myself away from the wolf I wiped the rest of the blood from my lips. I felt as if my life had just gotten so very complicated…

"You can come out you know, you don't have to be afraid." I said trying not to let my sarcastic side get the best side of me, I heard the wolf let out a low warning growl I only rolled my eyes.

"Aw, come on be a good puppy and change back for me." I said even going the extra mile bending at my waist patting my knees like you do for a puppy, my answer was an even louder growl which caused me to giggle. I couldn't help it, I felt no fear toward this oversized dog. "Fine Scruffy have it your own way." I said waving a dismissive hand in his direction before I started walking toward the opposite tree line I gaspd feeling a hot hand wrap around my shoulder spinning me around before I felt myself being slammed into a big tree. I let out a soft gasp, totally being taken by surprise could do that to a girl. I arched a brow looking up at the tanned skin of my attaacker. My breath seemed to catch in my throat as I looked at the tall, muscular sex god Native American standing in front of me growling as he looked down at me his teeth showing as he growled at me, even in human form his wolf still won out I could tell. I smirked only to have the man place his forearm over my chest keeping me from moving I looked up at him arching a brow.

"Something I can help you with mutt?" I purred softly, knowing that would get him.

The man started to vibrate as I smirked, these dogs were so easy to piss off. "Easy Scruffy, we wouldn't want you shredding your clothes now would we?" I asked tapping his chiseled abs, we both shivered at the touch, I only smirked as he seemed to jump 20 feet back away from me. I chuckled softly, he was funny. The Indian growled as he looked up our eyes meeting once again I felt like the world was spinning, something completely unknown to me. The man cussed moving to punch an old oak tree I gasped softly as the tree crumbled down making a loud crashing sound as it felt between myself and the dog man. He growled looking over the fallen tree to me.

"Who the hell are you?" He ground out, I felt myself shiver at the huskiness of his voice, I silently cursed my body as his eyes narrowed picking up on my reaction.

"That is clearly none of your business." He only growled.

"Tell me your name girl!"

"Fuck off Fido!" I retorted his eyes flashed to mine looking me over once before coming back to my eyes.

"You're a Cullen." My shocked eyes met his satisfied ones as he crossed his massive arms over his equally amazing chest. "You are new… I never had the displeasure of meeting you." Something inside of me hurt at those words, why the hell I didn't now.

"And you shall not get the displeasure of knowing my name Mutt." Before I walked two steps the man had me pinned underneath him on the ground as he leered down at me.

"What's your name girl?" He asked his eyes trying to turn all wolfy I let out a small warning hiss.

"Get your filthy hands off of me mutt!" I said thrashing under his strong hold.

"Your Bella and the leech's daughter." He said letting me go moving away from me like I was a poisonous snake, I ignored the small feeling of hurt as I pushed myself up off the forest ground.

"Fuck off Fido." I said repeating my earlier phrase, he made another move for me but I moved quickly out of his way. He may be stronger than I am but I sure as hell am faster than any mutt. When he turned around I was long gone running through the forest ignoring the limbs as they came back hitting me over and over across the soft flesh of my skin. I had to get away from him, I couldn't stand being around him any longer.

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	2. Kitchen Confessions

_"Sometimes the Best things we have are Staring you Right in the face."_

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**I** only stopped running when I realized he wasn't following me, letting out a sigh I leaned back against a tree. I wasn't in the mood for games, people never really even gave me a chance. Like with the dogs, I was automatically the 'bad person' because I was half vampire… a _half _! Unlike that wonderful mother of mine, if I had a choice in the matter, I would have been a regular plain Jane human. I didn't want this. I didn't want to be a 'monster' never feeling warm, never able to feel the sun's heat oh sure, I went outside a couple times when the sun was out but all I did was freaking sparkle I mean seriously?! What the hell kinda power is that suppose to be? Blind your prey before you latch onto their damn necks like some kind of…. leech or something? I sighed sliding down the tree letting my head rest on my knees. Well, on the bright side of things I found out where our nicknames from the dogs came from… Leech seemed to fit us perfectly.

Resting my head on my knees I let my mind wonder, no I never had a choice in the matter of being this way. I was born of a human mother and a vampire father. Unlike the beautiful, crazy mother of mine I sure as hell wouldn't of picked this lifestyle. I never asked God to send me to the womb of some crazy ass, unstable, human mother… but he did. Man, he's got some kind of sick humor I'll give him that. I wasn't sure how long I had sat on the forest floor, I knew it was getting dark moving to stand up I wrapped my arms around my middle shivering just a little. Just because I was a half dead corpse doesn't mean that I don't get cold. Hell I stay cold! Looking down at the flimsy jacket I had on made me roll my eyes, it really wasn't worth even wearing. I slowly stood up looking around the woods before deciding it was time to turn in for the night, at least I could make a fire to sit by, I know this sounds humorous to you but I couldn't stand the cold. As I walked I stopped hunting for the proper firewood as I made my way back to the small hunter's cabin I have been using since my arrival. It's far from fancy, but its just homey enough to be comfortable. It was far from big and extravagant like my family liked… that's one reason I snatched it up.

The bedroom was in the living room which opened up into the kitchen. The kitchen was small just enough room for the stove, fridge and some cabinets. I had a separate wash room as well as a bathroom. I loved having my bedroom in the living room because of the fireplace. The small hunter's cabin had the prefect fireplace. I smiled just thinking of the warming flames. After collecting the firewood I ran toward the cabin ignore the Native American man as I ran past his wolf, I had no time to fool with the likes of him right now, that fire was calling my name.

As I reached my home I smiled walking in, kicking off my shoes I walked over to the fireplace happy to see the old one was just now dying, no it wasn't safe, but I enjoyed coming home to a warm house. Bending down I started pushing the burn logs out of the way before sticking some of the new in on top of it I smiled a happy smile when I saw the fire start to grow. Hells to the yea. I was good. I walked over to my dresser pulling out my thermals… aka long Johns followed by a pair of heavy sweats. I quickly stripped down I was in the process of pulling on my pants when I heard a soft growl coming from my kitchen, I spun around only to find the man from before standing there his eyes were now black instead of their liquid brown color. I quickly covered up my naked breasts before grabbing my thermal top with my free hand.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" I asked my back to him as I pulled my shirt on, for some reason he made me nervous. Not the 'one wrong move and I'll rip your throat out' nervous, I could handle that. I'm a good fighter. He made me the 'Oh my gosh, can you feel the sexual tension' kind of nervous, which is a million times worse than the ripping of the throat out nervous. After pulling on my overly big sweat top that came down to my knees I once again turned to face the tan skinned man. I noticed that he hadn't moved from him previous spot. He stood there watching me as I gulped I found myself worrying what I looked like but I just pushed that to the side, screw it. I know being half vampire I had a certain thing that men found attractive but I hated how they seemed to throw themselves at me. Just because I have a nice face and big breasts doesn't mean I wanna go fuck in the back of a vehicle… just saying.

The Native man took a step closer to me seeming to fight a self battle inside of him. I tilted my head to the side watching him for a minute.

"I ask you once again, what the hell are you doing in my cabin?" Finally coming out of his 'trance' the man looked at me his back eyes turning back to brown as he let out a growl I held up my hands rolling my eyes.

"Or don't speak Scruffy, whatever floats you boat. But I'm hungry so if you wouldn't mind I'm going to get out of the way." I said making a move as to walk by him but he only smirked crossing his big arms over his massive chest as he leaned back against the door frame I gulped noticing how much smaller my cabin was with this giant of a man standing here. He was close to 6'7", all muscle no fluff, a face to dye for but eyes hard as stone ready to snap my neck at any second. I couldn't help but step away from him noticing how small I was in comparison to him. No doubt he was stronger than I am, being a hybrid I wasn't lucky to get the freakishly strong gene although I did get the speed gene along with a couple other convenient 'gifts' that I tried to hide… at all costs. Being a low profile hybrid was always better than being a high profile one… the Volturi hated hybrids, they would leave me alone unless they found out of the gifts I possessed then, well then I would be a sitting duck.

Walking over to the fridge I pulled it open looking for my chicken I had stashed in there, I could feel his eyes boring into my back but I wouldn't look at him. Did he make me nervous? Yes. Did he scare me? No. For some reason I felt like this wolf, even though his very purpose was to rid the world of horrible creatures like myself, would not or could not hurt me. Don't ask me why I felt like that, but I did. Looking over to the man I arched a brow as he walked over taking a seat in one of the tiny chairs propping his feet up on the table as he stretched his arms behind him letting his hands cradle his head. My stomach did somersaults. _Alright, enough. Stop acting like some horny toad and leave it alone._ I mentally scolded myself as I turned back around to the sink starting to cut the chicken breast up into pieces.

"What are you doing?" At the sound of his voice, I couldn't help but shiver ever so slightly, I prayed he didn't notice it.

"Cooking supper, what does it look like I'm doing?" I threw back as I sliced into the chicken breast, I heard a soft chuckle escape his lips.

_Hm, that's a nice sound… one I wouldn't mind to hear again. _Yep, it's official. I'm insane. Turning toward the stove I put a big pot of water on to boil humming under my breath trying to block out the woodsie, seductive sent of the wolf at my table.

"I thought you _ate _earlier?" Obviously referring to Bambi's father I killed. Dropping the raw chicken down into the water I turned to look at him.

"I fed on the deer earlier because my strength was getting low. Unlike full vampys I don't have to have blood to survive. I can eat anything you can and be happy… a happy content weak little hybrid." I said moving back over to finish the chicken

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad… weak vampires are easier to kill." I looked over my shoulder to the man and smirked. Unaffected by his words, that only seemed to tick him off.

"I would, If given the opportunity I would rip your throat out and set your corpse on fire without a second thought." I turned back to the sink trying to remain unaffected by the harsh words he had just said.

_Idiot. What did you think? Just because your half vampire it doesn't mean shit. Your still his enemy._ I licked my lips before turning the face the man pushing myself off the counter.

"Then do it. No one is stopping you." I said my eyes locking with his, if he wanted a fight then a fight is what he'll get.

Standing up from the table he looked at me his eyes darkening as he leaned in planting his hands firmly on the table that separated us. He growled low in his throat, a growl I easily returned. No man would try to intimidate me, I might be small and I may even look puny but hell if I was a push over.

"Let's go Mutt." I said my eyes flashing as I glared at the man, even when he was relaxing in the chair earlier he was still up to my chin. When he just stood there staring at me before taking his seat again I rolled my eyes before turning around walking back over to the counter cussing him under my breath, knowing he could my every word.

"Damned fucking dog…don't know what the hell his problem is." I muttered slamming the cabinets open and shut I heard his chuckle as he watched me, turning around my eyes glowed in his direction.

"What the hell you laughin at mutt?"

"Your pretty adorable when your pissed off." I let out a soft growl his eyes seemed to darken just a little as he stood up walking over to me quickly moving to pin me between his body and the nearby fridge, I knew I should struggle, I should do something but instead I just looked up at him with big golden eyes causing him to growl softly as he captured my wrists in one of his big hands moving to raise my arms up over my head keeping them firmly in his grasp.

"What are you doing?" I asked my breath alittle shaking. _What the hell are you doing Renessme? He is the ENEMY... come on fight it... ok now. Go... Anytime._ I mental had a knock down drag out fight with my little Jiminey Cricket, of course the devil always won. I didn't say anything as the man's dark head lowered to mine, his eyes flashing from my eyes down to my lips then back over again. My breath caught in my throat his he moved in even more he licked his lips.

"Don't. Move." He said sounding strain like he was fighting with inner wolf, my tounge darted out licking my lips a nervous habit I had developed over my years of exsistance. I heard the wolf man growl as he pressed himself harder into me. "Dont do that!" he growled out moving in to sniff my neck... yes I did say sniff. Damned dog... they had no manners. I should just - My thoughts were shut off when his hot lips locked onto my cool ones his free hand coming up to wrap in my hair pulling my head back to give him better access just as I started to let my guard down he pulled back just a little moving to kiss on my neck as he mumbled.

"You look so much like her..." I instantly tensed up knowing he meant my mother. Ripping myself out of his arms I glared up at him trying not to let my hurt show in my face. Fucker.

I growled when he moved to step toward me. "Stay the hell away from me Jacob." I instantly knew who he was when he compared me to that loving mother of mine. Jacob arched a brow as he stepped toward me causing me to take a step back.

"Ah, so my reputation precedes me I see?" My eyes flashed anger in the mutt's direction.

"Oh yes, you were often the ass of my father and uncles' jokes... they were quite amusing listening to how a dog actually thought he had the chance against a vampire." For some reason I knew just where to hit to piss Jacob off. He growled in response. And Bingo was his name-o. I smirked.

"It's quiet alright Jacob, mother always did have a soft spot in her heart for you... now I can see why. You must of been damn good in bed."

I received a growl in response.

"Dont talk about Bells like that." Funny, it had been 6 years since my birth, since Bella chose to be turned into the monster she is and yet here Jacob is, still in love with her. It was sad... pathetically sad.

"Dogs really are loyal to a fault." I said rolling my eyes. " Listen closely mutt. My. Mother. Doesn't. Love you. Did you not realize that when she chose the damned blood sucker over you? I mean really it's not that hard of a concept to grasp!" I said waving my hand in a dismissive gesture as Jacob growled starting to shake.

"You break anything mutt and I swear I'll have your ass." I said softly glaring at him. I was in mood to go make new furniture or replace broken appliances. The last thing I heard was him slamming out of the house before the sound of ripping clothes as he phased into the russet wolf I saw earlier.

I was tired of being compared to my mother. I am nothing and I repeat, NOTHING like my fucking mother. My thoughts went back to Jacob comparing me to her and I couldn't help but feel hurt as the words played over and over in my mind. Fuck.

I hated that wolf, I prayed I wouldn't ever see him again. Being in Canada wasn't for the best anymore. I had to leave... they have always said Hawaii was nice this time of year...

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**A/N: Ok so... this wasn't that long but I have only recieved 2 replies so idk if I'm going to keep writing this story seeing as a lot of people dont seem to like it lol Hope this chapter gets a few review :)  
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**~ SouthernCharmer  
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